


Cat-ch ‘Em All Cafe

by artificiallifecreator, ayzenigma, bewaretheboojum, clarityhiding, njw, Rider_of_Spades, strawberryjei



Series: A Journey of Personal Discovery Through Social Isolation [6]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU
Genre: Cat Cafe, Cats, Humor, Identity Porn, M/M, Magic, Pokemon References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-14
Updated: 2019-09-14
Packaged: 2020-10-17 22:43:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20628755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artificiallifecreator/pseuds/artificiallifecreator, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ayzenigma/pseuds/ayzenigma, https://archiveofourown.org/users/bewaretheboojum/pseuds/bewaretheboojum, https://archiveofourown.org/users/clarityhiding/pseuds/clarityhiding, https://archiveofourown.org/users/njw/pseuds/njw, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rider_of_Spades/pseuds/Rider_of_Spades, https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberryjei/pseuds/strawberryjei
Summary: Red Hood is definitely not crushing on his cute civilian neighbor Tim. He just likes spending time in the guy’s Pokemon-themed cat cafe. It’sdefinitelynot a crush.Too bad some thugs have been threatening the cafe, so now Red Hood has to hang around and make sure they don’t mess up Tim’s pretty face. But it’s still not a crush! He’s just doing his civic duty as a vigilante, that’s all....Right.





	Cat-ch ‘Em All Cafe

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nanimok](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nanimok/gifts).

> Happy birthday, Nanimok! We hope you like this story and all the ridiculous cat and Pokemon-related antics we came up with for you!

It was a common sight by this point for Gothamites to occasionally raise their heads and spot the city’s beloved vigilantes moving about high above. Sometimes, an enterprising tourist with binoculars could even catch them taking a hard-earned break, or having a meal at fifty feet above ground level. Such as now.

Jason raised his middle finger at the glint of a phone camera, only to have his hand swatted by Stephanie. He rolled his eyes from behind his mask as the girl waved. Judging by the enthusiastic movements of the figure several stories below, they’d seen and were waving back. He bit into his chili dog.

“Seriously, Wing, you’re too lenient with these damn fans,” he grumbled between bites.

“Oh hush, Hood, let the guy have his fun,” she grinned, picking up her own burrito. “Besides, you know Oracle will delete his video soon enough.”

That was true. Didn’t mean Jason had to like it.

“Still. Fuckin’ stalkers.”

“Hmmm,” his companion hummed before swallowing her mouthful. “Speaking of stalking, how’s your progress with that cute neighbor?”

Jason choked. “I’m not. Stalking him!” He coughed, trying and failing not to look totally taken by surprise at the unexpected and highly unwelcome subject change.

Stephanie whistled innocently, peeling away more of the paper wrap off her food. “Sure, whatever you say. No denial about how cute he is, I see.” It was almost comical to watch her waggle her brows with the mask on.

Jason snorted. “Uh, no? Of course not. Anyone with eyes can see that he’s the cutest thing in that cat cafe.” A _Pokemon-themed_ cat cafe at that.

“Awww,” his long-time work buddy cooed. “So what’s stopping you? Need some help? A magic womanly touch?”

“I’d be more afraid for my prospects if you actively tried,” Jason replied dryly, smirking at her indignant objection. “But seriously, no. I’m not dating a civ who has no idea about my identity—that’s just asking for trouble.”

“True.” Her expression turned somber. “Oh well. There’s always the community.” She shrugged lightly.

Jason raised an eyebrow, letting that speak for him. While it was true they were better suited to dating other vigilantes, doing so came with its own set of challenges. And it wasn’t like anyone in the life had caught Jason’s eye in recent months.

Now it was Stephanie’s turn to snort. “At least you have a sociable, cute example to follow if you ever become a cat lady.”

Upon imagining himself surrounded by ten carbon copies of Grumpy Cat, Jason burst out laughing. “Thanks, I needed that,” he wheezed. “While we’re still talking about sad, pathetic subjects, when are you giving Nightwing back to him?” He jerked a thumb toward where Dick as Batman was looming, clearly watching them, on a rooftop two buildings over. In the darkness, he cut an intimidating figure, but both Jason and Stephanie knew he was probably gazing at them forlornly from the shadows, sulking and pitiful.

Stephanie glared at their eldest brother, watching him shift slightly in unease. “Yeah, no. It’ll be a while.” And because Jason knew Dick did not have the guts—or really the inclination, after what happened before—to take yet another hero identity away from his baby sister, a while was really gonna mean a _while_.

He made a note to himself: do not get on Stephanie Brown’s bad side.

And while he was at it, probably try not to prove her right by stalking the cat cafe guy.

* * *

...He was absolutely _not _stalking the cat cafe guy.

No, he was just visiting because he knitted some more Pokemon capes for one Tim Drake’s cats, that was all. Yeah.

Besides, it had been twelve hours since he’d last seen him. Surely that was a decent, normal amount of time to be away from each other for two friendly but definitely not interested in each other in a romantic sense neighbors?

Jason was mulling over his life choices (just a little) when his vigilante hindbrain kicked in and started blaring a warning at him. That was when he registered that the loud voice in the cat cafe was too low to be Tim’s, despite it being opening hour.

In fact, the loud voice in the cat cafe sounded downright_ threatening_.

Adrenaline immediately kicked in. Shit, he hadn’t thought to bring his gun along. He hadn’t thought he would _need _it. Was this a break-in? Was Tim being held up? While that was unlikely in the middle of the day in this district, this_ was_ still Gotham. Anything could happen, and nowhere was truly safe. Even a damn _cat cafe, _apparently. Because Gotham was just that awful.

Silently and quickly, he made his way over to the large cafe windows, taking care to position himself so as not to be visible to those within.

What he saw was far from reassuring. There was Tim, in all his slight, aproned glory, cornered by what looked to be gang members. They certainly did not appear to be paying customers, but what could a couple of thugs like that possibly want with a _cat cafe owner_? Jason had a few ideas, and none of them were good. Sure enough, the sounds of their highly unfriendly conversation drifted through the window.

“For the last time, you piece of shit, you can pay up or we’ll smash this disgusting little faggot cafe of yours to pieces. What part of that don’t you understand?”

Oh, hell no.

Jason tensed, ready to interfere, only to listen on in growing astonishment as Tim snapped, “Actually, I understand perfectly. It’s just that I don’t see what use my money will be given to a complete waste of space who thinks the way to get ahead in life is to prey on innocent civilians. Then again, it’s entirely possible given what I’ve seen so far that you actually don’t have the mental capacity to contribute anything worthwhile to society. I mean, everyone’s entitled to do something stupid once in a while but you obviously abuse the privilege.”

Ooh, _burn_. Consider him both horrified and impressed. The enforcer who spoke looked ready to throw a punch for the sheer brazenness of what just came out of Tim’s pretty mouth though, so it was clearly past time for Jason to step into action. He rounded the corner and pulled out his phone.

“Hey, Tim. What seems to be the problem here?”

The thug loomed aggressively, glaring at him for interrupting. “What the—get lo—”

“Oh, nothing.” Tim sniffed. “These two _gentlemen_ were about to leave.”

Mr. Verbal Diarrhea, as Jason dubbed him in that moment, clearly hadn’t gotten the message yet that it was time to shut up. “The hell we are, you little—” His buddy, who from this point forward was definitely going to be Mr. Silent-but-Deadly, was eyeing Jason and starting to look a little nervous. Good.

“Oh, _I _see how it is.” Jason narrowed his eyes dangerously and drew himself to his full height. He was about an inch taller than either of the enforcers, and while they outweighed him, he was sure as hell in better shape than either one. This kind of thug usually depended more on their bulk than any real training, so he had no qualms about his ability to take either one down in his sleep if need be. “Want me to call the cops?”

A look of hesitation flashed over Mr. Silent’s face. As well it should. They were in Penguin’s territory. The cops might be bought, but they had no mafia connections and therefore no problem booking a couple of low-level enforcers. _Especially_ enforcers who were encroaching on Penguin’s turf. Mr. Verbal Diarrhea didn’t seem to catch on though. He stalked towards Jason, a vicious scowl rendering him even uglier than before.

“Listen—” Then it seemed to dawn on him how _big _Jason was as he drew closer. A soft, dangerous-sounding crackle drew both of the thugs’ attention away from him.

Tim had drawn a taser out of nowhere.

Damn, that was hot.

Between the now armed Tim and Jason’s size and threat, the hot-headed idiot finally looked less sure of himself. Moreso when Mr. Silent clapped him on the shoulder and gave him a meaningful look. Silence. Mr. Verbal Diarrhea snorted angrily.

“_Fine._” He turned back to Tim, sneering. “You got lucky this time, punk. But the next time your meathead boyfriend ain’t here…”

Tim raised an eyebrow, looking unimpressed.

Goddamnit. Jason should not find that so attractive, especially considering how bad insulting gang members would be for Tim’s business and health. But he did. Even the gangster shoving his way past Jason’s shoulder didn’t ruin the effect.

Didn’t stop him from catching a glimpse of the guy’s gang tattoo, though. Now all he needed was to knock some heads and he’d know which uppity new gang he might have to take over.

Shaking his head to rid himself of all thoughts of business, Jason walked over to where the cafe owner was tucking his taser away. “Hey. You ok?”

Tim smiled that small but nonetheless gorgeous smile of his. “Yeah.” Good. He didn’t look too shaken by the experience.

Although Jason had to question if that was really such a good thing. Jesus Christ, did this guy even _have_ a sense of danger? He sighed. “Tim, pal, what was that about?”

The other man tilted his head a little in puzzlement. “If you meant what happened earlier, clearly it was—”

“No, not that. I’m talking about _you_ trash talking a couple of gang members. Fuck, I ain’t heard someone be that vicious since my little sis let the big bro have it for wrecking her eyelash curlers. You know those guys could’ve snapped you in two, right? If I hadn’t showed up—”

“If you hadn’t appeared, I’d still have been fine.” Tim waved his hand dismissively like he hadn’t almost gotten the crap beaten out of him. A little taser like that wouldn’t have stopped those enforcers for long. “Now, are you here for the new specials on the menu? There’s the all-new Alolan Raichu pancakes, of course, but we also have a discount on the popcorn Torchic and new flavors of Pikabuns—”

How could such a smart guy act so dumb? He obviously wasn’t taking this seriously enough, and at this rate he was going to get himself killed.

“_Tim, listen to me_,” Jason clamped his hand down on the cafe owner’s shoulder. “Those guys are gonna be trouble, I can smell it. And I can’t be here all—”

“I _know_.” Tim smiled at him firmly, steel beneath his gaze. “I trust you, Jason.”

Jason opened his mouth. While that was great and all, what did that have to do with anything?

Tim had already turned back and headed to the kitchen and the first customers of the day were beginning to trickle in. Jason huffed in defeat.

Whatever. Looked like he was gonna have to stick close to Tim. For now, at least until he’d put some fear into that upstart gang.

* * *

Not that sticking close to Tim was a chore. All Jason had to do was bring his laptop over to read and work on case files at the cat cafe, and voila! Instant reason to spend all his time keeping an eye on Tim.

And ok, he might be a little addicted to the Clamperl milk teas and little Togepi custard tarts now, but nobody had to know that. Even if he might need to watch his weight now, well, that was between him and his body.

Hell, maybe he should order a Bulba-salad next.

Just as he was having a small food-crisis in his corner, Tim sauntered towards him. “Hey, Jason. How’s your novel coming along? Need any tea refills?”

“Just peachy,” Jason grumped, referring to the new gang case he was working on under the cover of novel-writing. It was a perfect cover because even if someone glanced over his shoulder and saw something they shouldn’t, any gritty details could easily be explained away as part of his book. Too bad progress wasn’t actually as great as his words implied. Slippery bastards had been hard to track. He gave Sylveon some ear scritches from where she lay in the other man’s arms, inviting pets with her limpid gaze and soft white fur.

At least being around the cafe so much allowed him to extra time in Tim’s company. And the cat cuddles weren’t half bad, either.

A large fluffy ginger cat, Jolteon, came over to rub at Tim's ankles and meow for his attention. The man smiled down at him from above his arm full of Sylveon.

"Another cup of tea would be great, though," Jason said, looking down at Jolteon. "Thanks, Timmers."

"Coming right up," Tim said. He headed toward the back of the cafe, carrying Sylveon with him as he walked and leaving a bereft appearing Jolteon behind.

Jolteon gave Jason a reproachful look. Jason tried to smile at the cat in an effort to get back in his good graces, but the haughty creature just turned heel and went to follow Tim, still clearly miffed at Jason for making his person walk away from him when he was mere moments from getting pets and affection.

Sighing, Jason picked up his now tepid tea cup to take one last swallow before Tim replaced his cup. The second his hand came in contact with the ceramic, an electric shock shot right through his fingers.

"Ouch, shit," he exclaimed, pulling his hand back and sucking at his sore fingers.

Glaring down at his cup, Jason wondered how in the hell ceramic could conduct electricity. Tim must have an ungrounded wire in the cafe somewhere...

He was looking around for any loose wires that might be near his table when Tim came back bearing a small tray. He replaced Jason's now empty mug with a steaming fresh one. Then he set a tea pot and a small chipped cup and saucer down at the seat opposite him.

Jason looked up at the other man expectantly.

"It's slow," Tim said with a small smile. "I figured I could take a short break with you while I wait for more customers. That is... if it's alright with you?"

"Yeah..." Jason stammered. "Absolutely."

Tim settled into the seat across from him. Just as he sat, several of the cats came over to lay at his feet, hop in his lap and otherwise make their desire for pets and affection known. He smiled down at the one in his lap and began to pet the small animal’s head.

"You've never told me about the novel you're writing," Tim said, reaching over to pour himself a cup of tea, a faint smile hovering at the corners of his mouth. "What's it about?"

"Oh, uh..." Jason stammered. It probably would have been smart if he had thought up some more details for his cover story.

"Sorry, is it a secret?" Tim asked, looking a little sly.

"Oh no, it's not. It's just... It's a sort of gritty crime thing. Gang violence and all of that. I figured you wouldn't be interested."

Not a complete lie, so there was that.

"Not at all. It sounds interesting. Where did you get your inspiration?" Tim asked, reaching for his tea cup and taking a long sip. He watched Jason over the rim of his cup, looking curious and expectant.

"You know, living in Gotham City," Jason answered casually. "Sometimes it feels like walking down the street here is like living in a gritty crime novel."

"Or, you know, coming to your favorite cafe or something," Tim said in a light and joking kind of voice that didn't come anywhere near fooling Jason.

"Yeah," he agreed, giving the other man a wry smile across the table. "Or that. Speaking of which, those guys haven't been giving you any more trouble have they?"

He knew damn well they hadn’t actually shown their faces at the cafe since he drove them off, but there were other ways they might be putting pressure on the cafe owner.

Tim took a deep breath and then leaned over to take a long sip from his tea cup. He was clearly trying to buy some time before he decided how to answer him. That wasn't promising.

Before the shorter man could answer, a small calico, Flareon, leapt up onto the table and settled down into a little cat loaf between Tim's teapot and Jason's ceramic mug. She eyed Jason with suspicious blue eyes.

Tim laughed and reached out a hand, rubbing at Flareon’s ears.

"Someone is a little grumpy today," he said, gently stroking her.

"That seems like a problem a few more pets could solve," Jason said, reaching out a tentative hand to scratch Flareon under her chin. She immediately began to purr very loudly as they fussed over her.

The little calico was so damn adorable, she almost managed to distract him. Almost.

"You didn't answer my question," Jason said, trying to keep his voice light and casual. "Has anyone bothered you again since that day?"

Tim, eyes firmly on Flareon, shook his head before he answered.

"I've... There have been a few phone calls."

"What kind of phone calls?" Jason asked, eyes locked on Tim's face as he spoke.

The slight man was still focused on his purring calico and didn't lift his face to meet Jason's concerned gaze.

"You know the kind. Angry ones. Late at night," Tim finally answered.

He tries to keep his voice calm and controlled despite his growing anger so as not to alarm the other man. "How often have they been calling?"

"Last night?" Tim said in a musing sort of voice. "Maybe thirty times. After I stopped answering I think they just kept hitting redial again and again and again."

Jason swore under his breath and shook his head, trying to keep his temper down. "What did you do?" he asked.

Tim didn't answer right away. Jason was still petting Flareon, trying to let the soft fur and the rumble of the cat's purrs sooth him, but his temper must have been getting the better of him because his hand suddenly felt extremely hot. He pulled his fingers back from the ginger cat and reached out to grasp the hand Tim had loosely circling his tea cup.

"Tim?" Jason asked, wrapping his fingers around the other man's slim wrist.

Tim looked up at him then, his bright blue eyes meeting Jason's with an uncertainty in them that Jason just didn't like to see. All trace of the kind, teasing smile that usually graced the other man's lips was gone and he looked tense and more guarded than usual.

"Did you call the cops?" Jason pressed.

Tim snorted out a bitter little laugh.

"What good would that do? The police can't do anything unless these guys actually cause some damage. The last thing I want to do is piss them off to the point where they start going after my cats in retaliation."

There were two things that were immediately apparent to Jason in that moment.

The first was that he hated those little idiot goons more than he hated than anything else in the world right now. Including avocados. And Jason despised avocados.

The second thing was that Tim's protectiveness over his cats made him even more attractive to Jason in that moment. The man cared so much for these tiny helpless fur balls that he'd threaten a thug and deal with harassing phone calls until late into the night. It spoke to Tim's heart and his spirit and it made Jason like him all the more. Even though he didn't actually think it was possible to like him more than he already did.

He was in way over his head here.

"I don't like this..." Jason said finally. "I don't like any of it."

Tim finally looked up at him and gave him a tired, resigned sort of smile.

"Neither do I," Tim said. "And neither do they."

He gestured expansively to all of the cats in his shop.

Jason let his eyes wander over all the tiny, delicate, innocent looking cats in the cafe. Tim had so many of them, it was sometimes hard to keep track. Jason could have sworn that the little calico had different markings just yesterday and he thought for sure the black one had green eyes, not yellow.

A little Russian blue Tim had named Vaporeon was playing with a little black cat named Spaceon on a cat tree by the window. They were wrestling playfully and meowing at each other as they tumbled across the carpeted floor of the cat tree. They were playing so animatedly that the glass of the window near where they had been playing was fogging up from their meows and body heat.

A tuxedo cat named Umbreon was chewing at some no doubt pilfered cat treats by the counter. And a little white kitten named Espeon was perched above them all, watching them from the top of an extremely high shelf. Jason had no idea how such a tiny little cat got up so high.

Tim's crazy cats and their science defying ways.

Jason shook his head and took another sip of his tea, reaching a hand out to pet Flareon again.

"Just..." Jason started and then broke off before trying again. "If anyone tries anything, you'll call me, yeah? Right away?"

"Yes, Jason," Tim promised. "If anything happens, I'll be sure to call."

* * *

In the end, Jason wasn’t there to pick up the call. Some protector he was.

To be fair though, he’d finally gotten some leads on the gang with Babs’ help and found out where the boss and his closest goons were setting up shop. So he’d been all gung-ho to eliminate the threat once and for all—make sure they wouldn’t bother Tim or anyone else again—that he’d left Tim alone.

He’d thought he was solving the problem! All he’d done was not show up at the cat cafe for _one evening_. Apparently Tim’s (and his own) luck just sucked.

So there he was, miles and miles away, cracking heads together, kicking ass and taking names, shooting up the place when he heard one of the idiots he’d already knocked down once muttering, “Dammit! We aren’t gonna win this, and he’s just _one _guy! This is fucking ridiculous.”

Jason smirked, calculating the trajectories based on where he heard the speaker. Then he fired. Kneecap. Definitely out of the fight now.

“Shit, now we’re down to four! Where are Snake and Mad Dog when you need them?!”

The next words called out in answer by some mook from another corner of the warehouse froze the blood in his veins.

“At the stupid cat cafe, where else could they be?! Shut up and keep shooting!”

Shit.

_Tim_. They had to be talking about Tim. Fuck, why hadn’t the guy called him?!

Oh right, he probably did, except some thug got in a lucky shot earlier and wrecked the side of Jason’s helmet—and his communicator along with it.

He felt his face twist into a snarl. They were gonna _pay_ for that.

Not ten minutes later, the warehouse was in flames with a groaning pile of thugs in front of it awaiting the police. Jason was speeding away, but it still felt too slow. What if—what if he was too late? What if something had happened to _Tim_, or his shop and all the little cats? God, Jason had just gotten fond of the little buggers. And Tim…Jason would never forgive himself if any of them got hurt.

_Stupid_, he decided as his bike roared way past city speed limits. He’d been so _stupid_. He should’ve called Steph in for help to watch over Tim, and instead he’d dropped the idea like a hot potato. And for what? All because he’d been afraid of a little teasing from her?

Never again. He wasn’t gonna risk someone’s life and wellbeing over his own pride like that again. Especially not someone as special and important as Tim. Fuck, he _can’t _be too late… Grimly he rounded the corner and slowed his bike to a stop. No sign of damage to the storefront from his vantage point. Good, maybe the goons hadn’t arrived yet. _Please let Tim and the cats be safe._

Jason jumped off his bike and made his way over to the cafe. Just as he was about to enter, two gang members burst through the doors. They were the same two thugs that Jason had seen threatening Tim, but he had to admit they looked even more pathetic than before as they ran away looking simultaneously charred, soaked, and electrocuted so their hair stuck up in spikes. Mr. Verbal Diarrhea was limping heavily but did not seem inclined to slow down any time soon, while Mr. Silent had a horror-stricken look in his eyes that spoke of having seen things. Terrible things. And was that _glitter_?

Deciding to ignore the strange sight in favor of far more pressing manners, Jason ducked through into the cafe before the doors swung closed. His heart pounded as he frantically entered the room, expecting the worst. Tim wasn’t a big guy, and those muscle-bound oafs could have done a lot of damage to him with their fists alone. Not to mention the cats were all so damn friendly they’d have probably walked up to those monsters wanting pets, never expecting…

And there was no damn way those assholes would have stuck to fists, not if they came here trying to prove a point. His mind filled with gruesome images of shattered tables with limp little bodies strewn across the wreckage, a larger body lying in a growing pool of—

Jason shook his head from side to side. _No._ Tim fought back, managed to injure the enforcers somehow. He was probably hurt, maybe badly, but he had to be alive.

Anyway, none of that explained the damn glitter.

He wasn’t exactly sure what he was expecting to see—horrific imaginings aside—but whatever it was, it definitely was not Tim standing in the center of a ring of cats with the cafe surrounding them looking like it had fought a tornado and lost.

“Tim!” A wave of relief swept through Jason and carried him to Tim’s side. He immediately began inspecting the him for signs of injury. The smaller man looked completely fine, other than riding an apparent adrenaline high, and being obviously upset about the damages to his cafe. But how? The gangsters were certainly armed—it was standard policy after all. Enforcers weren’t exactly paid to just stand around and look pretty. Mr. Verbal Diarrhea and Mr. Silent would be out of a job if that were the case. No, they have to have had guns and knives to get their point across, so to speak.

Tim, on the other hand was empty handed, safe, sound, and surrounded by cats. It was a good look on him. Alive, and not even a scratch on him. It was a damn good look on him, and he said so, muttering under his breath in his relief.

“I’m sure that alive and unscratched is a good look on most people, Hood.” Tim glanced down at his arms. They were covered in years’ worth of healed cat scratches. “Though I think I’d settle for alive when it comes to me.”

“That’s such a Gritty Crime Novel line. You gonna stare out of some dusty, broken windows and crack open mysteries now?” Jason froze as his mind caught up to his mouth. Did he really just—

The Red Hood wasn’t supposed to know about Jason and Tim’s Gritty Crime conversations. And the broken window thing was probably inconsiderate, what with how trashed the place was by those gangsters. He should probably be less of an asshole. But that definitely wasn’t the important thing right then. Tim being alive and unharmed was at the top of the list, closely followed by Jason possibly outing his own secret identity to the other guy like a complete idiot.

Then again, maybe Tim didn’t notice? One look at the gentle smile on the shorter man’s face told him his hope was in vain.

Tim smiled sheepishly at him. “It’s ok, Jason. It's actually not as much of a surprise as you think? Come on, I have something that I need to show you.” He began tugging Jason towards their apartments upstairs, but not before looking over his shoulder and yelling, “Spaceon’s in charge! Go ham on any more thugs, but be nice for cops and Bats!” Spaceon reared onto her hind legs and waved a paw in a kitty salute before dropping back onto all fours. Jason watched with wide eyes as Spaceon meowed authoritatively at the remaining cats, who began to disperse throughout the shop.

What. The. Fuck?

He stared for a moment longer until Flareon turned and fucking _winked _at him. After one more long second of staring at the cats—who all appeared to be doing ordinary, cat-like things except every damn time he turned around, something else in the shop looked like it had been repaired—Jason swallowed, and then shook his head while hurrying to follow Tim.

Maybe he got a concussion when those gangsters cracked his helmet. Yeah, that would probably explain what he just saw. The glitter earlier, too.

He reached Tim’s apartment door before he had a chance to think about things too much. The shorter man bit his lip and hesitated for a moment, looking at him, then gave him a slight smile. “Uh, would you mind taking off your mask? I know who you are, so there’s no point in leaving it on. And I’d really like to see your whole face during this conversation.”

Well, there really wasn’t any reason against it at that point. Fuck it. Jason carefully peeled off his mask, blinking as the cool air hit the skin around his eyes. “All right, Tim, what is it you needed to show me?” His idiotic brain chose that moment to suggest maybe the other man wanted to show him something in his bedroom, possibly involving a lot of skin. Fortunately, he managed to mostly suppress his physical reaction to the thought.

This wasn’t the time for that.

Tim didn’t seem to notice his distraction. “It’s in my bedroom,” he said, blithely walking down the hall toward a partially open door.

Jason almost swallowed his tongue and damn near tripped over his own feet in his haste to follow. Crowding into the doorway, he half expected to see the other man laid out on his bed like a feast. Instead, Tim was walking toward him, carrying a box and fiddling with the locks to get it open.

Tim led the way back out to the living room, where they both sat down on the couch as he set the now open box on the coffee table and pulled out what looked like… a bunch of photographs? “It all started when I was four,” Tim said, beginning to lay them out on the table as he told his story. Jason stared in curiosity, then shock, and then fascinated wonder.

Holy shit. Tim had known about his secret identity the whole damn time.

Well, there went Jason’s major reason not to date him. He couldn’t stop grinning at the thought.

* * *

“So that’s how it was,” Tim finished. He blinked, looking slightly stunned by the events of the evening. He probably never expected to tell that particular story to anyone.

There was still one thing bugging Jason though. “Ok, that explains how you know me, but Tim, not to be rude but what’s up with your cats? I thought I was _seeing_ things, but weird shit really happens around them doesn’t it? I’m guessing they saved you too, and I’m grateful as hell for that, but _how_?”

Tim blinked. “Oh. Well... As you saw earlier, they kinda have magic powers? Corresponding to their Pokemon names. I theorize that they may have decided upon that themselves after hearing about what their Pokemon counterparts should be able to do through talk around the cafe. So yeah, Flareon has fire abilities, Jolteon gives off electricity, Spaceon barfs up glitter, and so forth. Anyways, the magikitties happened in the first place because Klarion comes around sometimes, and apparently Teekl couldn’t keep it in their pants.”

Jason blinked, processing all of that and deciding to focus on the last bit. “Huh. You’re on first name terms with the Witch Boy?”

“After Eevee became a kitty-mama? Yes,” Tim replied dryly.

“Ok.” Jason couldn’t stop staring at his gorgeous blue eyes. “And fuck, you’re a little stalker, aren’t you?” He watched in fascination as a flush suffused the other man’s face. “It’s okay, you’ll fit right in. The rest of us use crimefighting as an excuse, but we arguably do spend a hell of a lot of time stalking people.”

Tim snickered, looking a little more settled. “Yeah, okay. That’s true enough.”

Jason smiled, pleased. He inched his way a little closer to the shorter man on the couch and let his arm drop onto the back of the couch. “So,” he said, smirking, “you wanna get coffee sometime?”

The other man stared at him for a minute before they both broke into chuckles, leaning together on the couch. Tim felt just right, tucked into his side, and Jason grinned as he let his arm drop around the shorter man’s shoulders. “I’m taking that as a yes, just so you know.”

“Jason, we get coffee together _all the time_. I’m pretty sure if you counted all the times we’ve had coffee together as dates, we’re already coming up on an anniversary.” Tim shook his head, still laughing.

Oh, that’s interesting. “So we’re past the third date already?” Jason smirked as the other man’s eyes widened, his flush from before deepening.

Then a mischievous look entered those blue eyes. “Yeah, guess so,” Tim whispered, tilting his face up and leaning forward.

Oh, _fuck._

Jason bent down and met Tim’s lips in a kiss which began gently and grew more heated as his hands found the shorter man’s waist and held on. Tim’s fingers tangled in his hair and he groaned, wanting _more, _and—

Tim’s goddamn cell phone was ringing.

The gorgeous, kiss-flushed man in his arms twisted and dug it out of his pocket. "—Wait just a minute. It's my mom and she'd only call at this time of night for something really important."

“Hey, Dana,” Tim answered the phone, then listened for a moment as Jason sat there waiting while feeling a strange mixture of annoyed, awkwardly turned on, and still thrilled over finally getting to kiss Tim. "Floated Dad up to the ceiling? Really? Well what was he—ah, yeah, that'd do it. Well, give Espeon some tuna and she'll probably let him down again as long as he apologizes and really means it."

Jason’s brows slowly rose as he listened. Apparently Tim gave one of the magikittens to his mom, probably before realizing they were actually magic. He chuckled under his breath, shaking his head in amusement.

Tim hung up the phone and then turned back to him with a smirk. "Now, where were we?"

* * *

  
Togepi Custard Tart and Clamperl Milk Tea. Art by [Stultiloquent](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stultiloquent) [(see tumblr post with recipes here)](https://stvlti.tumblr.com/post/190625976130/from-cat-ch-em-all-caf%C3%A9-on-ao3if-you-hadnt).

* * *

  
Alolan Raichu Souffle Pancake, Popcorn Torchic, and Pika-Buns 3.0. Art by [Stultiloquent](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stultiloquent) [(see tumblr post with recipes here)](https://stvlti.tumblr.com/post/190625976130/from-cat-ch-em-all-caf%C3%A9-on-ao3if-you-hadnt).

* * *

  
Tim and Jason Sharing a Clamperl Milk Tea with the Magikitties. Art by [Stultiloquent](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stultiloquent) [(see tumblr post here)](https://stvlti.tumblr.com/post/190625976130/from-cat-ch-em-all-caf%C3%A9-on-ao3if-you-hadnt).

**Author's Note:**

> Between brainstorming, art, and writing this story, this work contains contributions from airdanteine, akira, ayzengima, bewaretheboojum, njw, salazarastark, themandylion, snow, strawberryjei, chibinightowl, shmoo92, and vellaphoria. By the way, we almost named this _When Magikitties Attack_ but didn’t want to give away too much with the title.
> 
> Thanks, everyone, for all your ideas and effort in putting together this gift for Nani!
> 
> Edited to add the wonderful art created by Stultiloquent for this story. Thank you so much, Stultiloquent, for making this beautiful art and for allowing us to share it with the story! :D
> 
> [Capes & Coffee Tim Drake discord server](https://discord.gg/bGhpCDn)


End file.
